Living a Broken Life

So… It’s been a while since I’ve posted (2 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days to be exact)… Sorry. We’ve had a lot happen since then.

Back in January our car was stolen from our driveway. It was recovered a month later with a blown motor. At the end of April we finally got a replacement. Life with one car, 5 kids, and a husband who works an hour away is not easy. Our life seemed broken for awhile. The bright side is that the “new” used car is nicer, newer, and has more bells and whistles than the one that was stolen. And our car insurance and gap insurance covered what we owed.

In April 2 of our 3 dogs were taken to doggy jail (the local pound) for getting out of our yard and “killing a cat”… (No one actually saw it happen but our dogs were out and around and the cat didn’t die of natural causes).

A dog curled up on a couch

Our Husky-Lab Sugar

A dog on a leash

Our Pitt-mix Spice

Our husky-lab-pitt mix Pepper

I got tickets for the dogs being out and for them being “vicious”. Our puppy, Pepper, seemed broken for a while… he was missing his mom and dad. The bright side… The people at the pound vouched for our dogs and the two vicious animal tickets were dismissed. We got them back on May 14th😁.

I had surgery on the 7th. It was originally an elective surgery to tie my tubes but in the end they removed both tubes and my right ovary. The ovary had a large cyst that burst as they removed the ovary. The bright side is that when they biopsied the cyst it came back as non-cancerous, and now I don’t have to worry about it bursting and causing infection.

Our oldest monkey had her first school dance… My heart broke a little. My heart breaks a little with every milestone my monkeys reach.

We had graduations… On of my younger sisters graduated high school, our oldest monkey graduated 5th grade (no more elementary school), our second monkey is moving from the early elementary to the 2nd grade in the big elementary, our third monkey is going into Kindergarten, and our 4th will be in K4 in the fall. Like I said my heart breaks a little with every milestone. The bright side is they are growing as they should and reaching the milestones.

My grandmother passed away. My heart breaks a little to know that she gone and because of the relationship we didn’t have. I know she isn’t hurting any more. She had COPD and nerve issues. She had already lost one leg, had a tracheotomy, and was moving toward the loss of her other foot.

If you try hard to see it, there us a bright side to every situation. At one point our bright side was that with 5 monkeys, 3 of them in school, and flu season in full swing we only had one get sick… And she didn’t go down… Just did feel very well for a few days.

There are times when it feels like life is trying to break us, tear us apart is 12 different ways. As we move past those times we come out stronger. That’s not so say that we come out harder but as we learn from the trials they are easier to recognize as just that… A trial that we can overcome. Also as we go through things we are then able to help others going through the same things. For example, the loss of my daddy when he was just a few day short of 45 and I was only 23, I know have an understanding of the pain of that loss and the healing that takes place over time… While nothing I say can bring real comfort, that comes only from God, I can testify that the pain fades, not completely, but becomes bearable. It is something I would have no idea about with out the experience. These times sometimes feel unfair, but only remember… God does not give us more than we can handle with His help.

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28NLT

There are also times when we should welcome the brokenness. In these times we are not weighed down by outside circumstances, but from within. A brokenness born of our own failings, our stumbles, our outright turning away. If we come to God carrying our hearts broken, apologetic, repentant, and give them to Him as a sacrifice, He will gladly accept it and heal us.

51:1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

-Psalm 51:1-17 ESV

Are you living a broken life? Is the brokenness from outside circumstances or a heart broken from your own transgressions? In the end it doesn’t matter where it comes from, God can heal your brokenness and make you whole again if only you will ask.

If you need prayer please let me know! My husband and I would love to pray with you.

Broken

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